Jan. 17th, 2011

supremegoddessofall: (Default)
It was irreversible before you got on the plane. I could not be there for the doing, but I couldn't not be there for the mourning.

You are the twin of my soul, the yin to my yang, and yet I cannot take this pain from you.

I would, you know - take the pain. I would swallow that bitter pill myself, were it only possible.

I cannot take the pain, but I can hold.

I can hold you so tightly the sobs wrack my own body instead of yours.

I can hold you so closely my womb reaches for yours.

I can hold you as the wanted-unwanted not-yet-life passes from you.

And I can hold you after.

Twin of my soul, I have no answers for you. Only these arms with which to support your weight when you cannot.

"I would have kept it, you know, if only..."

Twin of my soul, you owe me no explanations. My womb stands empty as does yours now. It aches, for your lost child and for the one it never had.

It's a Catch-22 with no winners. I heard that in your voice long before I saw it in your eyes.

"I keep wondering what my child would have looked like."

Twin of my soul, she would have been radiant, as radiant as the light that is no longer lives in your eyes.

I hope that light comes back. The world is not the same without your joy.

My world is not the same.

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Kimberly Boyd-Bowman

May 2011

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