supremegoddessofall: (lj idol)
[personal profile] supremegoddessofall
I am a Scapegoat yearning to be an eScapegoat,
for whatever the fuck that means.

I am nebulous in my solidity,
Translucent in my opacity.
(If you have to ask if both are possible,
you don't know me...at all.)


I aspire to the Queen of Wands,
or maybe that of Swords -
instead I am the Hanged Man,
or perhaps the Fool.

I shall never be the unblinking Sphinx -
her blind Eye sees
what my open eyes are Blinded to.

Or maybe I plucked my own eyes out -
Oedipus no longer worthy of Sight.

I am not cold because I am quiet in the telling,
and your tears do not mean you feel more than I.

Even Anchors grow tired of the weight,
and long to be unmoored.
You may find it heavy to be a burden all the time,
yet I find it a burden to be heavy all the time.

But Function follows Form,
and Anchor-shaped girls
become Anchor-shaped women
become Anchors.

No one ever asks the Anchor
if it needs to be Held.

And Form follows Function,
so anchor becomes Anchor becomes ANCHOR,
and it no longer remembers
what it is to be Free.

To be ungrounded, floating.

Atlas never asked to carry it, you know -
stoicism wins top prize at the masque.

Still Atlas gets tired, too,
and he has long forgotten how to Shrug -
Who carries Atlas,
when he is worn out and shaking?

Maybe robots do dream of electric sheep.

I wouldn't know.

I tilt my head and affirm
that One is always Glad to be of Service.

Date: 2011-02-26 08:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] basric.livejournal.com
I am not much of a poetry person but I enjoyed this, beautifully written.

Date: 2011-02-26 04:18 pm (UTC)

Date: 2011-02-26 08:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] the-vernacular.livejournal.com
Oh I really liked the sentiment here, and the metaphor of the anchor. I know the feeling, of always having to be the strong one and having people assume it means I never break.

Date: 2011-02-27 01:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] the-vernacular.livejournal.com
It drives me nuts! Totally sympathize.

Date: 2011-02-26 09:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] myrna-bird.livejournal.com
I think the beauty in poetry is a lot like it is with Art. There is meaning in how it is done as well as what is being portrayed. It can mean different things to different people. This piece made me feel like there is room for doubt and growth to reside together. There is a sense of overlooking faults, like I'm okay, You're okay. I like it.

Date: 2011-02-27 12:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] supremegoddess1.livejournal.com
Thank you! I worked on it quite a bit.

Date: 2011-02-27 01:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ecosopher.livejournal.com
Still Atlas gets tired, too,
and he has long forgotten how to Shrug -
Who carries Atlas,
when he is worn out and shaking?


Thought this was a great stanza.

Date: 2011-02-27 01:41 am (UTC)

Date: 2011-02-27 02:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] similiesslip.livejournal.com
I really liked this part a lot:

and Anchor-shaped girls
become Anchor-shaped women
become Anchors.

No one ever asks the Anchor
if it needs to be Held.

And Form follows Function,
so anchor becomes Anchor becomes ANCHOR,
and it no longer remembers
what it is to be Free.

To be ungrounded, floating.

(me again)

And...I'm not exactly anchor shaped, I am more portional but I do..I want to ...hard to explain.

I do feel people feel "She's big and tall she doesn't need to be loved or hugged etc" but...you can be tall and feel little and afraid.

And ...I really want to be healthier. (and if I am honest, healthy and skinny.)

Date: 2011-02-27 02:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] supremegoddess1.livejournal.com
I weigh 80 pounds less than I used to. My clothes don't fit. But I don't see that - I just see the fat girl in the mirror. I pick up a pair of pants and say "these will never fit" and then they're 3 sizes too big. The fat girl's still there, even when other people can't see her any more.

The shape part is more metaphorical though - we get pegged as being anchors/rocks early and force ourselves to fit the mold because that's what people expect of us. So we come to embody the anchor so firmly that we forget how to be anything else.

Date: 2011-02-27 03:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] similiesslip.livejournal.com
Don't you love the new clothes choices though? It seems that the clothes I want to wear are for "skinny people." I need to lose about 60-70 lbs to get back to where I was before I had my kids.

It's true that I am..expected to be strong. All the time. And, yes, sometimes I just want to..be allowed to not be? Or just that there wasn't such an expectation, that I could be seen as a person who might react any way so I am watched carefully instead of vaguely ignored because "we know what she will do."

I'm not sure I am making sense but thanks for explaining what you meant.

And congrats on the ability to wear new clothes. I'm happy for you!:)

Date: 2011-02-27 03:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] supremegoddess1.livejournal.com
I refuse to buy more clothes until I'm a bit closer to my goal weight, because I am broke lol. I have a "benchmark" dress that fit me when I was 17 - when I can fit in that again I will go shopping. I think it's an 8? Getting there, getting there...

I'm also expected to be strong...all the time...people are amazed when they actually see the cracks in my armor (see last week's post). Weird position to be in, and often frustrating. I'm human, too, dammit!

Date: 2011-02-27 02:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] supremegoddess1.livejournal.com
Also, I'm glad you liked it.

Date: 2011-03-01 11:37 pm (UTC)

Date: 2011-02-27 04:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amenquohi.livejournal.com
I love this. Just love.

Date: 2011-02-27 04:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] supremegoddess1.livejournal.com
Thank you sweetie!

Date: 2011-02-27 04:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lawchicky.livejournal.com
loved this!

Date: 2011-02-27 05:10 pm (UTC)

Date: 2011-02-27 07:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] snarkerdoodle.livejournal.com
Don't usually go for poetry much, but I really enjoyed this (especially the line about the robots and the electric sheep, lol). :)

Date: 2011-02-27 07:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] supremegoddess1.livejournal.com
Thanks. Reference to the short story that Bladerunner is based on, if you're not a sci fi person. :)

Date: 2011-03-01 12:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] talon.livejournal.com
Oh man, the references, how I enjoy the references :P

Excellently done, miss.

Date: 2011-03-01 01:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] supremegoddess1.livejournal.com
Thanks hon. :)

Date: 2011-03-01 10:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] m-malcontent.livejournal.com
Lots of allusions here...poetic and seemingly personal.

I enjoyed this.

Date: 2011-03-01 11:33 pm (UTC)

Date: 2011-03-02 02:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] joeymichaels.livejournal.com
I'm glad that you're still with us this week. I also enjoyed the little Ann Rand and Ray Bradbury riffs here.

Date: 2011-03-02 02:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] supremegoddess1.livejournal.com
Danke. :) Poetry is always a gamble, but half of the time when I sit down to write, that's what comes out.

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Kimberly Boyd-Bowman

May 2011

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