It is Monday. I am working late, as it seems I'm always doing these days. I don't end up leaving work until almost 8:30. I call blueashke
on the way home. She tells me that the topic for this week is "Blankets."
"Blankets?" I ask with confusion. "Is there anything else?"
"Nope, just blankets."
"I have no idea what I'm going to write."
"Neither do I - you should write about your thing with textures and not being able to touch some blankets. That will be different."
"Nah, that would be boring. I'm sure I'll come up with something."
The little bit of Monday evening that I have left is spent watching television.
Tuesday rolls around, and work is just as busy as ever. I don't have time to read LJ Idol submissions, let alone write one! By the time I look at the clock it's after 2 and there's no way I could write something and be done before our 3:30 group. I do manage to leave work around 6:30, however.
I arrive home with the best intentions of writing my post. But then my friend and former co-worker Ebony calls. We spent nearly 4 hours on the phone catching up - have you heard about so-and-so, did so-and-so retire? Etc., etc. - you know the drill. By the time we get off the phone, it's 11:30 and definitely time for me to go to bed. I'm sure I'll get it done on Wednesday - no worries!
And then Wednesday comes. At approximately 12:45 on Wednesday, I break my left leg in two places (and, as I learned yesterday, deformed the bone, too!) coming out of the trailer that I work in. I'm too much of a perfectionist to just break it once.
I was going to describe how I broke it, but from a legal standpoint that's probably not a good idea right now. Suffice to say that it was negligence on the part of my employer.
Naturally, I've had no life since then that isn't leg-related - my life is a series of doctor's appointments and phone calls and pain medications and trying not to screw up my leg even more than it's already screwed up. LJ Idol has not been very high on my priority list. I still have no idea what to write about, so you get a crappy post that's probably not worth voting for.
You know, you never really realize how much you use both legs until you suddenly find yourself missing one. I've discovered all sorts of interesting ways to relocate myself from Point A to Point B. All of them hurt, every single time, but most of them accomplish the primary mission of "don't let your left leg hit anything."
I have a script for Percocet, which I'm taking, but it's not helping much, for two reasons. First of all (this is not to gain sympathy, merely the truth), I'm largely resistant to anesthetic medication of all forms. When I got my wisdom teeth pulled, the anesthesiologist had to put me up to the legal limit of the "twilight sleep," and I was still partially awake during the surgery. Percocet pulls me down by about 2 points on the pain scale. Right now without the Percocet I'm about an 8 on a scale of 0 to 10 where 10 is "shoot me now." With the Percocet I'm maybe a 6 or 6.5. Secondly (time for the gross-out factor!!!), every time I shift my leg even slightly, the bones that are broken shift position and hit or rub against one another.
I've surrounded myself with blankets and pillows (ha! she mentioned the topic word. gawd, she's so obvious!!!) and have tried various configurations to get comfortable. Comfort really is such a relative term, isn't it?
See, I can be warm, but if I'm warm that means that I have a blanket on top of my leg. The pressure of the blanket pushes my foot downward and my ankle grinds along my foot bone. I can relieve that by enduring the bone popping it takes to turn my foot to the side. That position is most comfortable, but then I hurt worse the next time I need to move or shift positions since I'm putting my muscles into an unnatural state.
Or I can be warm except for my foot and leg, and fold the rest of the blanket doubled-over on the rest of me. Except that doesn't really work either - the rest of me gets too hot, and my foot gets cold.
Or I can say to hell with the blankets all together, and just be cold. Of course, being cold makes me shiver, which jars my leg, which makes the bones move. Which hurts.
So, as you can see, I'm pretty much in a Catch 22 here. There simply is no scenario in which I win. So I rotate between the three options and deal with the pain it takes to achieve each transition.
I'll be having surgery next Thursday. I'm not really worried about it, but i am immensely worried about the rehabilitation time afterward. I've never really broken a bone before, and certainly not one this badly (you know it's bad when everyone, including the doctor, who takes a look at your X-rays is like "hot damn!") - my baby toes don't count. According to the orthopedist, I'll be on crutches for 4 to 6 weeks, in a "moonboot" for probably another 2 months after that, and won't be back up to "full speed" for probably 6 months - and that's with extensive physical therapy.
My boss has gone from "take your time and heal" to "how quickly can you come back?" I suspect this is because my favorite co-worker was apparently fired yesterday with no warning. I have no idea what happened, and I'm desperately worried about her. I'm hoping she calls me at some point today - her text message last night said she didn't want to talk and was going straight to bed.
I hope her blankets can provide her with some measure of comfort, as mine surely are not.
Perhaps I should have her over - we can commiserate together and I can substitute warm company for warm blankets. At least the company won't grind my bones.
2009 has been the worst year of my life so far. I choose to believe that things will get better, because I think I would shoot myself if I didn't have that hope.
ETA: While I was writing this I got a call from my "adjuster" for Key Risk Management. I'm only going to get 2/3 of my salary while I'm out. Looks like my life will now consist of my leg and a lawyer, because that isn't going to cut it.